Acting, Life, and the Cosmos: The Passive Power of Doreen Toh

Acting, Life, and the Cosmos: The Passive Power of Doreen Toh

Photo from Facebook

The youngest of four, Doreen spent her formative years in a kampung until she turned 20, an experience she believes contributed to her open nature. When I asked if she had aspired to be an actress since young, she said, “Oh no no no no. But I loved singing. All my neighbours knew because I would ride my bike around and sing so loud. My dream was to be a singer”. 

Her first foray into acting came when her colleague walked over to her work desk one day with a newspaper in hand. “That day, a full-page section in the Chinese newspaper featured an interview on the Toy Factory [theatre company], and the article mentioned they were having an audition for their upcoming major production at Kallang Theatre. So my friend said, ‘Eh, we go and see how’.” Though Doreen was initially hesitant, she agreed to accompany her friend. Many actors were needed, so the auditionees were immediately plunged into workshop sessions. 

“I was fascinated by what they did during the workshops because it’s so different from the mundane life.” Eventually, Doreen was cast in the lead role. I said that she was a natural-born talent, to which she shook her head vigorously. 

“I don’t know why, but I think it was because the male lead was very tall, so perhaps I was more suitable height-wise”. After being with Toy Factory Production for about five years, she branched out to other theatre companies and slowly became a household name in the theatre scene. 

POSTETERNE (英台起诉记) is an original work written by Goh Boon Teck, inspired by Chinese folk classic The Butterfly Lovers. A team of 100 were involved in this mega production staged at Kallang Theatre in 1992. Photo from Toy Factory Production Facebook

“I think I’m very fortunate. The lead role involvement was more demanding, but it also evoked [something in] me. It became another area in my life, and it made me realise that it’s very important for a human being to have this space for creating. It also opened up a lot of perspectives and personal insight into what life is, as theatre is always challenging.”

Photo from Love at Fifty

Formal training was not the norm; instead, learning came from experience, productions, and various directors. From those humble beginnings, her love affair with acting blossomed, gradually transitioning from the intimate confines of the theatre to the silver screen.

“My belief is that things will happen by itself. I’m a very passive person. All of my friends know. There was once, one of my friends talked to me very seriously. I think he meant well.” She puffed up, mimicking him, and continued, “He said, “你要有企图心！ 你没有企图心就是没有呼吸了！(You need to have ambition! If not, it’s like not breathing!).” 

“I agreed at that time. I don’t have [that urge] to want to do more, to push myself. Theatre for me is about opening myself and enriching my life, which partly I owe to my life guru, the late William Teo, who taught me that in life, learning how to be oneself is more important than anything else.” 

Whilst Doreen focused on that, she was led to other terrains. In 2018, filmmaker Tan Wei Ting was looking to cast for her short film CA$H. “She cast five of us, all of us were theatre-trained. That was my first short film. After that, a lot of film industry people began to know me, so on and off I would receive WhatsApp messages, ‘Oh, I got your number from so and so’. CA$H opened up a lot of opportunities.”

Doreen revealed that this scene, praised by many of her peers as incredibly natural, was actually improvised, something the cast is accustomed to thanks to their theatre background. 

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That stepping stone catapulted her into the short film scene, which her friends eventually called her, “short film queen”, also thanks to her open mind and heart to invitations. “I’ve always gone for auditions [for whatever invitations]. I don’t choose, as I was recommended by someone.”

“It’s a blessing for me, to say what each character wants to say. However small the character, she chose me — I perceive it as that, so maybe she thinks that through me, her voice can be heard. As a theatre-trained actor, we all say, ‘There are no small roles, only small actors’. Because of CA$H, like they say, 阴差阳错 (a strange combination of circumstances). Perhaps it’s my calling?”

In 2023, Doreen's role as Mrs Lim in Nelson Yeo's Dreaming and Dying propelled her to Locarno, Switzerland. Reflecting on these experiences, she remarks, "When I acted in it, it never crossed my mind that it would bring me so far, like Locarno or wherever. It’s always [about] the character."

Dreaming and Dying delves into the intricacies of repressed desires and tangled memories, which are themes that Doreen believes many can relate to, especially with Mrs. Lim's unexpressed emotions. Yeo had written the character with Doreen in mind.

Doreen was nominated under the Best Performance category in the Asian Feature Film Competition. Photo from Facebook

Despite her unwavering passion for acting, the fear of the phone no longer ringing lingers at the back of her mind. "A lot of actors will have this question, but still, we hold on to it. We still don’t want to give up," she reflects candidly. While she's often cast in maternal roles, she harbours a fervent desire to portray a sharp-witted policewoman solving murder cases. "I haven’t had the opportunity to delve into Chinese historical drama roles either!" she exclaims with youthful enthusiasm.

"For me, being an actor is a privilege. I feel honoured to tell different people’s stories because Doreen’s story and personal life are very boring. But at this stage right now, I don’t know if I can still be true to myself. How my path will be, we never know, but if I can be as genuine and truthful as I am, that’s more important," she muses.

The essence of Doreen's journey lies in her steadfast dedication to authenticity, embodying the antithesis of the typical path to stardom. Instead, she channels her heart, soul, energy, time, and effort into her characters truthfully, viewing herself as a vessel for their stories. "The universe quite sayang me lah," she beamed.

About the Author: Kennice reads, writes, dances, and watches theatre and film as a way to understand life on Earth (& perhaps beyond). Probably thinking of having another cup of yuan yang siew dai.

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This article is published as part of *SCAPE’s Film Critics Lab: A Writing Mentorship Programme, with support from Singapore Film Society.